The Body Hair Project

At the end of last month I took part in Ailsa's project where she photographed a whole bunch of women and interviewed them on their choices surrounding the often problematic world of hair removal. It was a lovely experience and one of the first times I've openly spoke about my opinions on removing body hair. Although I was completely petrified at the time, as person with very little confidence in my appearance, after seeing the photos that were taken I felt a serge of confidence and a lot of that was based on accepting my body hair.

Molly Rose

I don’t remove any body hair.

Did you ever start shaving?
I don’t think it’s ever really been a massive deal for me. I think I used to do it a bit on and off but then decided it just wasn’t for me. But I never really did it habitually. 

Do you think you’re quite unusual?
I don’t think I do. But the reaction I get from other people: people close to me, people noticing it and commenting maybe. But I don’t feel unusual in myself because of it. 

Do you have any friends who don’t remove hair?
I don’t think I have one friend who doesn’t remove body hair.

I think the thing with them is that they just assume that that’s not the way that girls should be.  That it’s gross. I think my least favourite thing that people say is that it’s unhygienic to have body hair because that’s a bit of a cop out almost. It’s frustrating. 

I didn’t feel much pressure growing up and also I want to say that I do think it’s a bit of a ‘fuck you’ to society in some ways. I don’t want to be viewed as something I’m not. 

I grew up with my nan and she doesn’t shave. I’ve lived with her for most of my teenage life. She’s completely the coolest woman in the world and she’s always been shoving feminism down my throat in a good way. So to have a really good, positive role model was really great. She was the only authority in my life- no one else was and she wasn’t telling me to do it so I never really did.

You’re always going to have those moments when someone will say something that does get to you but yeah, I’m never going to be everyone’s favourite thing so I may as well be my favourite thing. And I like that. 

You can see a more extensive collection of Ailsa's work at The Body Hair Project over on her website.

By Molly Rose x

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Do FeMENists mean an end to lad culture and gang mentality in men?

After watching the male students of LREI in New York City undertake classes in feminism from Ileana Jiménez, "the Feminist Teacher" and openly discuss what feminism means and how it's been life changing to understand feminism. It is refreshing to see not just men, but high school students, reflecting on topics such as societal binaries, intersectionality, sex trafficking and defining themselves as feminists!

Although I don't believe a man admitting he is a feminist is really that admirable, because of course equality is something we should all aim for (and not wanting minorities to be raped, murdered and have their general livelihood threatened and compromised everyday doesn't really warrant a trophy). I do understand the pressures that men face to separate themselves from women and society's perception of female issues. It's also important to recognise that high school is a place where fitting in can feel like the number one priority. To be different or stand out is to make yourself a victim straight off the bat and as high school students, that is the last thing we want. This isn't something that ends when you hit eighteen though, this is also a massive part of what manhood is and feeling like you belong in society is a really big thing for everyone. Men often flock together in groups, who share a collective thought and to defy this can often lead to ridicule by your peers or even render you as less of a man. 

Now as a university student and as someone who works on one of the most notoriously "ladish" streets in Bristol, I see this every weekend; groups of men who feel safe in performing ludicrously antisocial acts because they either feel safe in their little obnoxious band of men or because they are too afraid to act in any other way. On one occasion I can remember working on the door, taking tickets and money, and after denying entry to a group of about six middle-aged Irish men I was screamed at for being "racist" and as I was crying one pulled his dick out, pushed it in my face and told me he would only leave if I would be so kind as to suck it.

As my own personal experience shows, I've come to believe that so much sexism can be put down to the anonymity that can be felt in a group. Examples all across the board have come to light recently, with sexual assaults in colleges in Massachusetts, Steubenville, Torrington, Michigan, as well as in the UK where racism and sexism in public spaces is only goaded when in groups of university students, and this is only endorsed by the clubs in which they go to.  I believe this is one of many reasons as to why rape and group sexual assaults are so common place at college and university; a place where manliness is always in question and group mentalities are rife. 

The reason as to why Jiménez's education in feminism appears to work so well for the seven male students who have taken her class is because it takes them away from that group status that allows them to mock and challenge anything and everything for fear of being ridiculed themselves. It allows these young men to be educated and to learn about the importance of feminism with openness and acceptance despite it not being considered a "man's issue". She normalises feminism while allowing them to explore aspects of feminism which apply to them. Nathaniel discusses how  "nothing can just be one dimensional" as they were taught about the importance of intersectionality, and how equality transcends gender and how we must fight for equality between people of difference races, classes, sexual orientations and disabilities. Nathaniel later went onto feature on Nickelodeon to talk about feminism alongside Gloria Steinem.

As I said before, a man believing he is a feminist is no more ground breaking than a women believing she is however it does mean a massive step towards equality as more and more men each day are becoming more supportive. It means that the feminism is no longer a strictly "female issue" as it has been for a long time. The large majority of modern men are unconcerned by the issues which affect minorities because they feel they are unaffected by them, despite often having the most control over them.

With more questions heading towards whether sex education should be taught at a younger age or not here in the UK, social politics, gender studies, body politics and consent, equality and an openness towards differences in race, religion and sexuality of everyone are equally important for children in high school to learn about. It must be taught before fears of social stigma and worries of becoming an outcast in the eyes of their peers begin to become the most important aspect of teenage life. Despite my generation's education being one of the most developed thus far, there is definitely so far to go. I was one of few who never taught about sex education and I never put a condom on a banana or rubber dildo. But this is definitely not the only important thing to be teaching in schools. There is a huge lack of education when it comes showing children how to grow up with openness and understanding. 

The only downfall to Jiménez's uplifting video is the overbearing message in the About section of her Youtube post. Only seven boys took her gender studies course in two years and despite that being an amazing feat, it is a very tiny minority of the men that have passed through high schools all over America. At this point it is important to reiterate that feminism which doesn't accept men cannot really be for equality as equality is inclusive of everyone. However, it is equally important that women, people of colour, those with disabilities and all those who fall under the LGBT spectrum have a platform in which to teach, learn and promote, and protest without the fear of subjugation, ridicule and torment. men must also realise that feminism is not a platform for them to be overbearing or invade and they are not entitled a place because they are a man.

“Men who want to be feminists do not need to be given a space in feminism. They need to take the space they have in society & make it feminist.”  

- Kelley Temple, National Union of Students UK Women’s Officer

Of course, what Jiménez has does is amazingly important - she is educating young men on how they can use their privilege and status as men to recognise and then fight against systematic oppression. She is also rescuing the very same young men that could by chance be lost into the lad culture that prizes the kind of threatening anti-social behaviour that the vast majority of women have suffered at the hand of. They now fight against the same behaviour that society encourages which dictates masculinity is dictated through an entitlement to women's bodies with or without consent.

Watch the video here!

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Nice Guys Finish First: Slam Poetry and Nice Guy Syndrome

Yesterday, through no fault of my own, I attended a poetry slam hosted by Hammer and Tongue. The ubiquitous Spoken Word collective who, on the first Wednesday of every month, host a series of poetry slams where I work. Despite not being the most enthralled individual by poetry and poetry slams (mostly because of how it really feels like finding a diamond in a heap of shit to me), I'm pretty open to the nights in which we host because I believe the people I work with have amazing taste.

The night opened with readings from a few poets, one of which was Salena Godden, and then after an hour or so the poetry slam started. The night was pretty slow but the venue was very full and it went on to the final round of the four hopeful finalists who would be going to the National Slam at the Royal Albert Hall on the 21stof June, alongside Kate Tempest.

However, this is where I lost all hope in humanity and the poetry slamming community forever and ever. The first of two winners, who achieved the highest score of the entire night, over all, recited a poem that started with (something along the lines of) “And I know you say you just want a 'nice boyfriend'” and there followed three minutes of him criticising himself for his “bitch tits” and “five foot six” and how she really, truly, deserves a nice boyfriend, but she shouldn't say she wants just a nice boyfriend because she doesn't want just a nice boyfriend. She wants intelligence, height, humour, a good jaw and not him.

Honestly, I don't remember his name, I'm sure it was something like Mike or Tom or something as equally forgettable as the rest of the night was but as I sat on the door with the sounds of people applauding his win, I couldn't help feel like … yeah I know he rhymed six and tits but does he really deserve to win? Isn't content important at all?

Male Entitlement is Killing Women

Stories of Elliot Rodger have erupted. The gunman killed 7 people in Santa Barbara before shooting himself, documenting his misogynistic, racist views in a manifesto, as well as a series of Youtube videos where he dictates he will “punish” the girls who aren't attracted to him, describing himself as an “alpha male” who was treated like scum while women “gave [themselves] to other men”. As well as many posts featured on men’s rights websites like PUAhate, a place for “incels” (involuntary celibates) who discuss their unpopularity with women and excoriate the opposite sex.

Then there’s the story of Vanden Bailey, a man from Kingston, who stabbed his wife after she refused to have sex with him. As well as the 16 year old in Connecticut, who killed a female pupil after stabbing her in the neck after she refused to go to prom with him.

In each of these cases, which are not few are far between, we see that the deaths of these women have all been at the hands of men who feel they are entitled to something, whether that be sex, relationships, or even simply a dance at prom.

Rodger’s Youtube account contains so many comments highlighting the male belief that he owns women, that he is owed something and is entitled to them for being a man.

To deny the entitlement and misogyny that drive these acts, dismissing these criminals as mentally ill or to pass blame onto frat-boy culture is to disregard the historical and on-going violence towards women by men.

By doing this it changes what Elliot Rodger did, making it an individual problem rather than the cultural one that is really is, making it to the acts of a mad man who didn’t get the help he needed.

When extremists kill we blame the ideology, the religion, the culture. But when the position of man is threatened by young, white and privileged who violently attack and openly express their hatred for women and ethnic minorities, we blame everything but our society. The reason as to why acts like Rodger are happening is because of the sense of entitlement that young, white men do have. Despite making massive moves forward against sexism and racism, our culture is still rife with ever-growing acts of violence towards women. We need to stop trying to deny that this was ultimately an act of misogyny and face up what we can do to prevent it rather than making excuses and allowing these types of crimes to continue.

Society harbours hatred towards women, it creates the people who act on this hatred because they are made to believe that it is justified. Society refuses to hold itself responsible for these incidents because men don’t want to see themselves in people like Rodger and when they refuse to take responsibility, they admit to their unwillingness to prevent it.

As Margaret Atwood famously said; “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” Women deserve to feel safe and respected. Without the fear of death, and more so without the deaths of women being belittled to nothing more than one-off, sporadic and random events by lone-misogynists. This is not random. Elliot Rodger is not an outlier. Violence against women happens everyday and the longer we deny it the longer we allow it.

By Molly Rose

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